used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
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Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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