the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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