obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize