I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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