If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
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You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
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