My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Randomize