I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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