I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Randomize