I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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