he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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