Texts From Last Night

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  (847): View more from Illinois

  just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism

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  (847): just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism http://tfl.nu/1jbk
  Replies (12) Good night (569) Bad night (2404) Order T-Shirt
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.

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  (630): i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag. http://tfl.nu/wsec
  Replies (14) Good night (2626) Bad night (637) Order T-Shirt
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  (561): View more from Florida

  I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."

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  (561): I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday." http://tfl.nu/kc3i
  Replies (31) Good night (5121) Bad night (541) Order T-Shirt
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  (479): View more from Arkansas

  So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.

  (307): View more from Wyoming

  Haha. Niice.

  (479): View more from Arkansas

  Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.

  (307): View more from Wyoming

  both.

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  (479): So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack. (307): Haha. Niice. (479): Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered. (307): both. http://tfl.nu/wvm3
  Replies (46) Good night (5860) Bad night (730)
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  (765): View more from Indiana

  Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?

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  (765): Did we both pass out talking about cake last night? http://tfl.nu/lgnr
  Replies (10) Good night (4665) Bad night (780) Order T-Shirt
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.

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  (717): whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom. http://tfl.nu/6izn
  Replies (4) Good night (756) Bad night (1897) Order T-Shirt
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  (419): View more from Ohio

  had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.

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  (419): had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me. http://tfl.nu/ffp2
  Replies (4) Good night (879) Bad night (2268) Order T-Shirt
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail

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  (919): He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail http://tfl.nu/mc07
  Replies (11) Good night (931) Bad night (2151) Order T-Shirt
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  (301): View more from Maryland

  he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.

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  (301): he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again. http://tfl.nu/vkbm
  Replies (8) Good night (2164) Bad night (517) Order T-Shirt
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  (352): View more from Florida

  I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...

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  (352): I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection... http://tfl.nu/jbgn
  Replies (20) Good night (1732) Bad night (495) Order T-Shirt
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  (716): View more from New York

  took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink

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  (716): took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink http://tfl.nu/qhkh
  Replies (4) Good night (446) Bad night (884) Order T-Shirt
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  (253): View more from Washington

  He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.

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  (253): He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child. http://tfl.nu/jtoq
  Replies (3) Good night (294) Bad night (915) Order T-Shirt
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  (541): View more from Oregon

  Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.

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  (541): Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal. http://tfl.nu/2v18
  Replies (0) Good night (352) Bad night (168) Order T-Shirt
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  (501): View more from Arkansas

  I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.

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  (501): I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something. http://tfl.nu/os86
  Replies (0) Good night (422) Bad night (176) Order T-Shirt
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  (586): View more from Michigan

  She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.

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  (586): She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her. http://tfl.nu/tkh4
  Replies (0) Good night (399) Bad night (172)

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