I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize