Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize