you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
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