you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Randomize