Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
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I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
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I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
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