think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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