This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
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