my vag is so smooth its legendary
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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