I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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