So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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