I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
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