Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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