God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
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You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
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I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
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