I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
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