Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize