I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
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his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
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Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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