My first STD was from a foam party
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize