Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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