If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
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