Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
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