you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
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chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
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It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
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