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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
I enjoy the company of your penis
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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