I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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