i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
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