i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
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