How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
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