I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
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