This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize