it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
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