***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize