it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize