It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
40s are totally the cure
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
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