Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize