Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Randomize