i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize