The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
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all she had left on were here heels. phone five
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
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