If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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