thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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