we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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